‘Our little round-eyed friends will buy anything.

‘Our little round-eyed friends will buy anything.

Those wacky Taiwanese animators are back, this time with a biting parody of the infamous "Chinese professor" ad issued by the advocacy group Citizens Against Government Waste. Only this time, instead of a triumphant Communist Party lecturer, it’s a computer-generated panda telling the assembled students what’s what.

Here’s the transcript:

Beijing 2030

What makes nations grow?

Is it smart people?

Is it freedom? Ha! this is China!

No! It’s selling cheap crap to gullible customers… like in America. Our little round-eyed friends will buy anything.

But how do we maintain our power?

Well, you can manipulate the RMB, pay slave wages, offer few chances for upward mobility. Cut corners on product safety.

Melamine? A little toxin only hurts a little.

No wonder wimpy Americans need universal health care.

Finally, steal technology. Look what we copied from Steve Jobs! [shows futuristic iPad]

Of course, what really makes China great… [laughs] is we have motherf*cking talking pandas.