- By Britt PetersonBritt Peterson is a contributing editor and columnist for Washingtonian magazine, as well as a freelancer for the New York Times Book Review, Slate, and Elle. Previously, she was an editor at Foreign Policy, where she oversaw the magazine’s culture section.
We’re continuing our jokes drive for our political humor package in the next print issue. And judging from the response so far, you guys find the former Soviet Union absolutely hilarious. Here are slightly edited versions of the best two jokes from the last bunch, from readers TRANSTRIST and MATT THE BADGER:
A Soviet citizen goes to the Red Square with the sign "Brezhnev is a senile idiot." Immediately he gets picked up by the KGB and sentenced to 12 years in jail — two for insulting the head of state and 10 for exposing a state security secret.
A Pole walking along the road happens to spy a lamp. He picks it up, and as it is covered in rust he gives it quick rub. Out comes a genie.
"I’m the genie of the lamp and I can grant you three wishes," the genie says.
"OK," says the Pole. "I want the Chinese Army to invade Poland." Odd choice, the genie thinks, but nevertheless he grants the wish, and the Chinese Army comes all the way from China, invades, and goes back home.
"Right, second wish. Maybe something more positive," says the genie.
"No," replies the Pole, "I want the Chinese Army to invade again." So the Chinese come all the way from China, lay waste to more of Poland, and then go home.
"Listen," says the genie. "You have one last wish. I can make Poland the most beautiful and prosperous place on earth."
"If you don’t mind, I want the Chinese army to invade one more time." So the Chinese army comes again, destroys what’s left of Poland, and then goes home for the last time.
"I don’t understand," says the genie. "Why did you want the Chinese army to invade Poland three times?"
"Well," replies the Pole, "they had to go through Russia six times."
At FP, we love a good Brezhnev joke — but where are the jokes from India? Kenya? Mexico? Belgium? We know they’re out there — so please send them to us.