‘No, Honey, I Blocked Netanyahu’: The Jokes Iranians Are Passing Around After the Deal
After news of the historic Iranian nuclear deal broke on Tuesday, Iranians began passing around jokes poking fun at the major players involved.
When a tentative nuclear agreement was reached between Iran and world powers in April, Iranians quickly hopped on text messaging services to share jokes about the deal.
In highly censored Iran, jokes are often passed through WhatsApp and Viber to avoid publicizing commentary mocking the government.
And after Tuesday’s historic deal, the jokes only got better.
Foreign Policy got ahold of some of them through a source with contacts inside Iran who requested to remain anonymous in order to preserve those relationships.
Many of the jokes from this time around poke fun at U.S. President Barack Obama’s role in the improved relationship between the United States and Iran.
One imagines a text conversation between Obama and Iranian President Hassan Rouhani:
Rouhani: Yes, baby?
Obama: I crave chocolate.
Rouhani: They have lifted the sanctions, I’ll buy you the best chocolate.
Obama: Thanks for doing all you could to make our relationship better.
Rouhani: You don’t have Netanyahu on your friend list, do you???
Obama: No, honey, I’ve blocked him!!
Another touches on just how foreign of a concept a friendship between the two countries really is:
“I hope we don’t get too close to the United States. I’m too shy to start calling President Obama ‘uncle Obby.'”
Others mocked the reactions of world leaders opposed to the deal, including Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, mentioned in the first joke, who called it a “historic mistake for the world.” Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the former president of Iran, notorious for worsening relations between Iran and the West, makes an appearance in this joke:
“Three people look very funny today: Netanyahu, the king of Saudi Arabia, aaaaaaaaaand Ahmadinejad.”
Several of the jokes addressed the sanctions that will be lifted as a result of the deal, and how that will affect Iranians’ financial status:
“I had collected 20 million tomans to buy a Kia. But now with sanctions lifted, I’m not sure if I should go for a Maserati or a Porsche.”
“Bye bye falafel, hello McDonalds!”
Another imagined what water fountains would look like now that the deal was signed:
“Water fountains after the nuke agreement.”
And mocking an old tradition from the years after the 1979 Islamic revolution, when Iranians would gather to chant “Down with America” after Friday prayers, some Iranians question what the new object of their enmity will be.
“New slogan in Friday prayers:
Down with the South Pole!
Down with the North Pole!
Down with the equator!
Down with the prime meridian!”
Photo credit: ATTA KENARE/AFP/Getty Images
1Bolton Expected to ‘Clean House’ 2056 Shares
2Nobody Knows Anything About China 126 Shares
3John Bolton Is a National Security Threat 1631 Shares
4Teflon Trudeau Is His Own Worst Enemy 837 Shares
5Welcome to the Dick Cheney Administration 999 Shares
6Give John Bolton a Chance 301 Shares
10The New Dutch Disease Is White Nationalism 527 Shares