My selfish reason for supporting gay marriage

From a purely selfish perspective, I shouldn’t give a rat’s ass one way or the other about the ability of gay Americans to get married. I’m not gay; I wasn’t prevented from getting hitched. I think the argument that gay marriage undercuts the institution is hogwash, so whether it’s legal shouldn’t matter to me. I ...

By , a professor of international politics at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University and co-host of the Space the Nation podcast.

From a purely selfish perspective, I shouldn't give a rat's ass one way or the other about the ability of gay Americans to get married. I'm not gay; I wasn't prevented from getting hitched. I think the argument that gay marriage undercuts the institution is hogwash, so whether it's legal shouldn't matter to me. I would derive some empathetic pleasure from seeing gay friends getting married, but that hasn't happened yet, so no effect there. There are many excellent reasons to support it, but none of them would appear to affect me directly. However, The Onion reminds me of one personal incentive to support gay marriage with their fake news story, "Gay Couple Feels Pressured to Marry.":

From a purely selfish perspective, I shouldn’t give a rat’s ass one way or the other about the ability of gay Americans to get married. I’m not gay; I wasn’t prevented from getting hitched. I think the argument that gay marriage undercuts the institution is hogwash, so whether it’s legal shouldn’t matter to me. I would derive some empathetic pleasure from seeing gay friends getting married, but that hasn’t happened yet, so no effect there. There are many excellent reasons to support it, but none of them would appear to affect me directly. However, The Onion reminds me of one personal incentive to support gay marriage with their fake news story, “Gay Couple Feels Pressured to Marry.”:

Ever since last month, when Massachusetts became the first state to allow same-sex weddings, parents, friends, and coworkers have been pressuring Kristin Burton and her girlfriend Laura Miyatake to marry, the couple of 14 months said Monday. “As soon as the news coverage about gay marriage started, my mom called me up,” said Burton, who works as a nursing-home administrator. “Of course, she didn’t directly ask me when I was going to marry Laura. First, she asked how Laura and I were getting along, and how business was at Laura’s shop. But then she reminded me about my dad’s heart disease and told me that he could go at any time. When she started to talk about how nice it was at my brother’s wedding, I told her I was late for my yoga class.” Burton and Miyatake said they never expected the court’s decision to add so much tension to their relationship. “It seems like just yesterday I was annoyed because straight people were awkwardly asking if we were ‘friends’ or ‘partners,'” Miyatake said. “Now, every convenience-store clerk who guesses we’re gay asks us if we’re going to get married under the new law. It’s sort of a touchy subject, okay?”

The ability to ask my gay friends and colleagues when they’re planning to get hitched and watch them squirm with discomfort answering the question — that’s going to be enjoyable.

Daniel W. Drezner is a professor of international politics at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University and co-host of the Space the Nation podcast. Twitter: @dandrezner

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