Menacing monkeys to be sterilized by Indian youth

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Are you an unemployed youth in the northern Indian state of Himachal Pradesh? If so, the government may have a job for you: monkey sterilizer. 

The state has become so overrun with monkeys that curbing them became a major electoral issue last month. On Thursday, the chief minister unveiled a solution that would solve two problems—the monkey menace and youth unemployment—at once: Train young people to capture and sterilize marauding wild monkeys. Or as the state’s press release puts it, “lazer [sic] sterilization of the monkeys on war footing.”

This monkey madness probably sounds wacky to those who don’t live near monkey habitats, but it may well be a pragmatic solution to a vexing problem. For devout Hindus and conservationists who don’t want monkeys to be killed, for instance, sterilization might be more benign. And let’s not forget that in India, the monkey population is out of control. Monkeys ravage farmers’ crops and even attack people such as New Delhi’s deputy mayor, who fell off his balcony and died while fighting off a gang of monkeys last October.

Admittedly, part of the problem is us humans: We’re encroaching on monkey territory and taking away their habitat. To that end, Himachal Pradesh is also considering developing dedicated wildlife preserves for monkeys. (Puerto Rico, by the way, is simply shipping theirs to Florida.)

In all, the monkey eradication plan doesn’t sound as bizarre once all the hype is stripped away: Train young adults to capture, enumerate, tag, and sterilize monkeys.

Of course, what happens if novice sterilizers botch a case? One dissenting conservationist asked:

Can you imagine what having badly sterilized monkeys running around will do to the levels of aggression?

Perhaps there’s nothing to worry about. According to Himachal Pradesh’s press release, the young adults are only going to be assisting “experts” in carrying out the project. Presumably, the experts know how to wield a sterilization “lazer.”