Worst student sentences…revealed!!!

Last month, I asked professors to “post, in the comments, the single-worst sentence you have read in a student paper.” And lo, academics from around the land heard of this contest, and proffered their best quotes. And, lo, the results are in….. And the result is….. a three-way tie!!! Reading through the entries, it quickly ...

By , a professor of international politics at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University and co-host of the Space the Nation podcast.

Last month, I asked professors to "post, in the comments, the single-worst sentence you have read in a student paper." And lo, academics from around the land heard of this contest, and proffered their best quotes. And, lo, the results are in..... And the result is..... a three-way tie!!! Reading through the entries, it quickly became apparent that there were three different kind of bad sentences, each deserving of their own award. The first kind relies on a really bad malapropism. The winner in this category is... from David Sousa: Given politicians' efforts to maninpulate coverage, citizens cannot easily distinguish between fact and fornication. The second kind relies on really, really bad writing. And the winner in this category is BN, who submitted the following sentence: The Civil War lasted no more than four years, but the red and blue blood that was spilt will last a life time. In the final and most difficult category, the writer must demonstrate a near-complete lack of factual or analytical control over the subject matter. And the hands-down winner in this category is Diodotus, with the following grad student sentence: In order to make an intelligent argument, I determined that I first had to have a genuine understanding of the conflict. I sought this information in several books because I felt that they would be the most unbiased and factual.Thanks to one and all for participating -- and students should not fear, as their opportunity to strike back will be coming tomorrow.

Last month, I asked professors to “post, in the comments, the single-worst sentence you have read in a student paper.” And lo, academics from around the land heard of this contest, and proffered their best quotes. And, lo, the results are in….. And the result is….. a three-way tie!!! Reading through the entries, it quickly became apparent that there were three different kind of bad sentences, each deserving of their own award. The first kind relies on a really bad malapropism. The winner in this category is… from David Sousa:

Given politicians’ efforts to maninpulate coverage, citizens cannot easily distinguish between fact and fornication.

The second kind relies on really, really bad writing. And the winner in this category is BN, who submitted the following sentence:

The Civil War lasted no more than four years, but the red and blue blood that was spilt will last a life time.

In the final and most difficult category, the writer must demonstrate a near-complete lack of factual or analytical control over the subject matter. And the hands-down winner in this category is Diodotus, with the following grad student sentence:

In order to make an intelligent argument, I determined that I first had to have a genuine understanding of the conflict. I sought this information in several books because I felt that they would be the most unbiased and factual.

Thanks to one and all for participating — and students should not fear, as their opportunity to strike back will be coming tomorrow.

Daniel W. Drezner is a professor of international politics at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University and co-host of the Space the Nation podcast. Twitter: @dandrezner

More from Foreign Policy

Newspapers in Tehran feature on their front page news about the China-brokered deal between Iran and Saudi Arabia to restore ties, signed in Beijing the previous day, on March, 11 2023.
Newspapers in Tehran feature on their front page news about the China-brokered deal between Iran and Saudi Arabia to restore ties, signed in Beijing the previous day, on March, 11 2023.

Saudi-Iranian Détente Is a Wake-Up Call for America

The peace plan is a big deal—and it’s no accident that China brokered it.

Austin and Gallant stand at podiums side by side next to each others' national flags.
Austin and Gallant stand at podiums side by side next to each others' national flags.

The U.S.-Israel Relationship No Longer Makes Sense

If Israel and its supporters want the country to continue receiving U.S. largesse, they will need to come up with a new narrative.

Russian President Vladimir Putin lays flowers at the Moscow Kremlin Wall in the Alexander Garden during an event marking Defender of the Fatherland Day in Moscow.
Russian President Vladimir Putin lays flowers at the Moscow Kremlin Wall in the Alexander Garden during an event marking Defender of the Fatherland Day in Moscow.

Putin Is Trapped in the Sunk-Cost Fallacy of War

Moscow is grasping for meaning in a meaningless invasion.

An Iranian man holds a newspaper reporting the China-brokered deal between Iran and Saudi Arabia to restore ties, in Tehran on March 11.
An Iranian man holds a newspaper reporting the China-brokered deal between Iran and Saudi Arabia to restore ties, in Tehran on March 11.

How China’s Saudi-Iran Deal Can Serve U.S. Interests

And why there’s less to Beijing’s diplomatic breakthrough than meets the eye.