If Beijing ran your local newspaper

Here’s what it might sound like: [M]ostly it seems the Chinese government are working hardest to live up to their stereotype. For example, the Communist Party Tibet Daily described the protesting monks as "Loyal running dogs of the Dalai Clique." You’d know if someone from the Tibet Daily got a job on the Shepton Mallet ...

Here's what it might sound like:

Here’s what it might sound like:

[M]ostly it seems the Chinese government are working hardest to live up to their stereotype. For example, the Communist Party Tibet Daily described the protesting monks as "Loyal running dogs of the Dalai Clique." You’d know if someone from the Tibet Daily got a job on the Shepton Mallet Gazette, because the articles would begin "On Saturday there was a demonstration by pensioners who object to the proposed closure of the sub-post office in Wickton Street.

"It was organised by proprietor Mrs Henderson, a poisonous feudal decaying rat, lickspittle bourgeois stooge of her stamp-peddling reactionary camel-dung husband, the so-called Mister Henderson."

Similarly, if the Communist Party chief in Tibet was seriously trying to persuade neutrals of his case, he might not have referred to the Dalai Lama as "A devil with a human face, but the heart of a beast." To be fair, this sort of language might be what’s needed to liven up political debate in [Britain]. Then on Question Time, Dimbleby could say: "So Frank Dobson says you’re a devil with a human face and the bowels of a hyena – how do you respond to that, Shirley Williams?"

(Hat tip: Chris O’Brien)

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