The moderate Taliban, a field guide

Having apparently given up on his search for an honest man in Washington, President Obama has now directed his new White House Office for Exercises in Futility to embark on the search for the moderate Taliban. One can only imagine the instructions handed out to the CIA operatives and special forces troops entrusted with this ...

Having apparently given up on his search for an honest man in Washington, President Obama has now directed his new White House Office for Exercises in Futility to embark on the search for the moderate Taliban. One can only imagine the instructions handed out to the CIA operatives and special forces troops entrusted with this task:

Having apparently given up on his search for an honest man in Washington, President Obama has now directed his new White House Office for Exercises in Futility to embark on the search for the moderate Taliban. One can only imagine the instructions handed out to the CIA operatives and special forces troops entrusted with this task:

The man you are looking for will display one or more of the following views:

1) Seeks only partial destruction of the United States

2) Advocates stoning unfaithful women to death with only small rocks and pebbles

3) Believes terrorists are rewarded in heaven with only 25 virgins

4) Offers Bin Laden refuge in his home only during inclement weather

5) Still seeks to march every last Israeli into the sea but promises not to gloat about it afterwards

This gentleman will probably have a somewhat shorter beard than is typical, smiles occasionally, speaks some English and was last reported living with the Tooth Fairy in Candyland."

David Rothkopf is visiting professor at Columbia University's School of International and Public Affairs and visiting scholar at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace. His latest book is The Great Questions of Tomorrow. He has been a longtime contributor to Foreign Policy and was CEO and editor of the FP Group from 2012 to May 2017. Twitter: @djrothkopf

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