Madam Secretary

‘Clintons Separate!’, reports National Examiner

  Today is a bit of a slow day for Secretary Clinton news — she has been on vacation — so for fun I thought I’d share an issue of the National Examiner I saw at the grocery store checkout line on Sunday. The article (not available online) reports that unnamed sources are saying that “the ...

581466_090901_ClintonsSplit2.jpg

Cover of National Examiner, Sept. 7, 2009  

Today is a bit of a slow day for Secretary Clinton news — she has been on vacation — so for fun I thought I’d share an issue of the National Examiner I saw at the grocery store checkout line on Sunday. The article (not available online) reports that unnamed sources are saying that “the former first couple has finally decided to separate and remain married in name only.”

Clinton is supposedly enraged that husband Bill, a former U.S. president, has been stealing her spotlight, such as when he rescued imprisoned journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee from “evil dictator Kim Jong Il.” An “insider” told the Examiner that the secretary told Bill, “You’ve upstaged me for the last time,” and then the couple agreed to secretly separate.

As for a divorce, there’s no way that’ll happen before daughter Chelsea gets married. A source told the Examiner:

“They wouldn’t do that to Chelsea. … They’d want to be a couple on her wedding day for her sake. … I think eventually they will divorce, but not until Hillary is done with her political career. Even though Bill continues to outshine her, she still needs him.”

There you have it, from a trusted news source.

Photo: National Examiner, cover of Sept. 7, 2009 issue

Preeti Aroon was copy chief at Foreign Policy from 2009 to 2016 and was an FP assistant editor from 2007 to 2009. Twitter: @pjaroonFP

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