Daniel W. Drezner

iMugged

The following is an exchange between myself and someone who had clearly taken over a friend’s e-mail account, and was attempting to get me to wire money to them.  All of the text is true; only the names have been changed to protect the innocent:  12:13 PM Scammer: hi there  me: Hello 12:14 PM Scammer: how are ...

The following is an exchange between myself and someone who had clearly taken over a friend’s e-mail account, and was attempting to get me to wire money to them.  All of the text is true; only the names have been changed to protect the innocent

12:13 PM Scammer: hi there
 me: Hello
12:14 PM Scammer: how are youi?
  you
 me: OK… how’s your daughter Bubbles? [Not her real name –DD]
12:16 PM Scammer: did you got my message?
12:17 PM me: No, is Bubbles OK?
 Scammer: yeah
12:18 PM I need your help?
12:19 PM me: What’s wrong?
12:20 PM Scammer: well i had a visit to a resort centerin Wales, England..
  got mugged by some hoodlums
  all cash and credit cards were stolen
12:21 PM me: Oh, no
  That’s horrible!
12:22 PM Scammer: i need your help?
  thank GOD that i wasn’t hurt and i still have my passport with me
 me: Well, sounds like things will work out then!
12:23 PM Just call the credit card companies!
 Scammer: have already canceled my credit cards and my bank account was frozen due to security reason
12:24 PM the mian issue is that i’m financially straned right now and my return flight leaves in few hours time but i need few cash to sort out some bills before coming over
 me: Have you contacted your husband Bubba?
12:25 PM Scammer: we are both stuck together
12:26 PM i need you to loan us few cash?
  will def refund it as soon as we arrive back tomorrow
 me: But surely Bubba can use the $500 he always keeps in his security pouch!
12:27 PM What flight are you on?
 Scammer: Virgin Atlantic Airline
12:28 PM me: Have you tried contacting them to advance the money? I hear they do that in situations like these
 Scammer: they can’t do such thing
 me: Sure they can! They did it when I was mugged in Edinburgh last month!
12:29 PM Scammer: i need your help?
 me: What do you need?
12:30 PM Scammer: $1,000 is all we need
 me: In which currency?
12:32 PM Scammer: 600 pounds is all we need
 me: Oh, dear….
  How soon do you need it?
12:33 PM Scammer: we need it now
  the next available fluight leaves in 2hrs time and we got to be at the airport in 1hr time
12:34 PM me: But I don’t see how I could get money to you that quickly
 Scammer: you can have it wired to me vis Wetsern Union
  do you know any WU outlet nearby?
 me: Hold on, I’ll check….
12:35 PM Scammer: ok
12:36 PM me: Why, yes! There is one right near Fahrfivgnugen, MA, on Swindler Street! That’s only 5 minutes from here!
 Scammer: ok
  will you leave for the WU outlet now?
12:37 PM don’t really have much time to waste
 me: Well, where am I supposed to wire it EXACTLY?
 Scammer: yeah!
  all you need is just my info
  a sec…
 me: Which is?
12:38 PM Scammer: wire it in my name to
5 King Street, Cardiff, South Glamorgan CF10 1SZ, United Kingdom
 me: OK, I’ll head out in two minutes…
  Wait, there’s someone knocking at my door
  Oh, no, they’ve got a gun!!!
12:39 PM Scammer: alright
 me: Help!!!
  They’re asking me for all my money and credit cards!!!
  I’m doing what he says!!!
  I’m sorry, now I have nothing.
  When you get back to the States, could you wire me some cash so I could get gas for my car please?
 Scammer: f*** you
12:40 PM you kidding me???

I’m kicking myself that I didn’t come up with something more original than that.

Any suggestions for the future?  [UPDATE:  thanks to alert reader S.C. for the link to this site.]

 Twitter: @dandrezner

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