FP: The Restaurant

Over at Mothership Slate, Justin Peters has a clever piece imagining what restaurants based on some of the most popular American magazines and news Websites might look like. For instance,

Esquire: “Choose between Seven Lunches We Love, all of which involve ground beef; the barbecue-sauce sommelier will assist your efforts to build a Best-Dressed Burger.”

Huffington Post: “Marvel at the 47-page menu of hot entrees, most of which are sourced from other, better restaurants.”

And Slate itself: “The kitchen will occasionally convince you that everything you know about curly fries is wrong.”

So naturally, we started thinking about what you would find at a Foreign Policy-run eatery. I imagine that we would take healthy but unexciting ingredients prepared by expert nutritionists from around the world and then arrange them into pretty shapes and cover them with delicious, delicious cheese sauce. The Rising China Souffle, Failed State Stew (just dropped on your table without a bowl) and Putin’s Polonium Pelmeni are favorites. Your waiter would also be constantly informing you that the food you really should be eating isn’t even on sale in America yet and you’ve probably never heard of it, but it will be your favorite food next year — unless it kills you.

What else would you like to see?