The hazards of being an IR spouse

Valentine’s Day approaches, which means the concomitant release of really bad holiday-themed flicks — an unfortunate annual tradition.  This glut of cruddy romantic movies has prompted Jessica Grose to ask a puzzler over at Slate:  what is the worst date movie of all time?  Her vote is for the Julia Roberts/Clive Owen/Natalie Portman/Jude Law film Closer.  As an ...

By , a professor of international politics at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University and co-host of the Space the Nation podcast.

Valentine's Day approaches, which means the concomitant release of really bad holiday-themed flicks -- an unfortunate annual tradition

Valentine’s Day approaches, which means the concomitant release of really bad holiday-themed flicks — an unfortunate annual tradition

This glut of cruddy romantic movies has prompted Jessica Grose to ask a puzzler over at Slate:  what is the worst date movie of all time?  Her vote is for the Julia Roberts/Clive Owen/Natalie Portman/Jude Law film Closer

As an admitted movie buff and IR geek, I must offer my own very different answer to this question — one that demonstrates the extent to which my IR geekiness nearly ruined my romantic fortunes. 

Back in the early days of courting the Official Blog Wife, we were spending a lovely, romantic vacation weekend together.  This was the kind of trip when I was able to forget about the rest of the world and focus on the inherent awesomeess of my bride-to-be.   Everything about those three days was perfect — until the very end of the third day.  We were walking along a boardwalk and came upon a movie theater, which was playing a matinee of a film that I had really been wanting to see in the theater. 

"Let’s go see it!" I said.  My future wife, still in the throes of vacation bliss, agreed. 

The movie was…. Crimson Tide:

I know, I know.  Unless you’re into sub movies like Run Silent, Run Deep, Das Boot, or The Hunt For Red October — and, as an IR film geek, I am so into these movies — this genre is likely the absolute worst date movie you can take a date.  A lesson I learned the hard way fifteen years ago.  To this day, when I see Crimson Tide on cable, I feel a little shiver run down my spine.  I’ll still watch it, of course — but shivering.  When the wife and I are flipping channels and we see it on cable together, she emits a noise that no English word can precisely capture.  I’m sure there’s a long German word that fits the bill — something that combines derision and dread, but still leavened with a bit of tenderness. 

My dear readers, if you are so lucky as to find a soulmate that shares an enthusiasm for a particular movie genre —  zombies, for example — then enjoy that shared interest to the hilt on a date movie.  Otherwise, do the right thing and go rent The Philadelphia Story.   

Daniel W. Drezner is a professor of international politics at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University and co-host of the Space the Nation podcast. Twitter: @dandrezner

More from Foreign Policy

Russian President Vladimir Putin and Chinese President Xi Jinping give a toast during a reception following their talks at the Kremlin in Moscow on March 21.
Russian President Vladimir Putin and Chinese President Xi Jinping give a toast during a reception following their talks at the Kremlin in Moscow on March 21.

Can Russia Get Used to Being China’s Little Brother?

The power dynamic between Beijing and Moscow has switched dramatically.

Xi and Putin shake hands while carrying red folders.
Xi and Putin shake hands while carrying red folders.

Xi and Putin Have the Most Consequential Undeclared Alliance in the World

It’s become more important than Washington’s official alliances today.

Russian President Vladimir Putin greets Kazakh President Kassym-Jomart Tokayev.
Russian President Vladimir Putin greets Kazakh President Kassym-Jomart Tokayev.

It’s a New Great Game. Again.

Across Central Asia, Russia’s brand is tainted by Ukraine, China’s got challenges, and Washington senses another opening.

Kurdish military officers take part in a graduation ceremony in Erbil, the capital of Iraq’s Kurdistan Region, on Jan. 15.
Kurdish military officers take part in a graduation ceremony in Erbil, the capital of Iraq’s Kurdistan Region, on Jan. 15.

Iraqi Kurdistan’s House of Cards Is Collapsing

The region once seemed a bright spot in the disorder unleashed by U.S. regime change. Today, things look bleak.