Reader contest: help China insult the United States!!

You know, as insults go, this one is pretty bush league:

China’s credit-rating agency on Tuesday downgraded its rating for U.S. sovereign debt and warned of further cuts, in a pointed move ahead of this week’s Group of 20 major economies meeting.

Dagong Global Credit Rating Co. Ltd., the only wholly Chinese-owned rating agency, cut its rating on U.S. debt to A from AA, citing the Federal Reserve’s move last week to initiate another round of asset buying, worth $600 billion. It also placed the U.S. sovereign credit rating on negative watch.

"The new round of quantitative easing monetary policy adopted by the Federal Reserve has brought about an obvious trend of depreciation of the U.S. dollar and the continuation and deepening of credit crisis in the U.S.," Dagong said.

"Such a move entirely encroaches on the interests of the creditors, indicating the decline of the U.S. government’s intention of debt repayment," the agency said.

Sounds very, very serious, until we get to this part of the story:

The downgrade of the U.S. rating by Dagong comes just over a month after the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission denied the firm’s application to officially rate bonds in the U.S.

At that time, Dagong called the SEC’s move discriminatory and said it was considering legal action.

The SEC said in denying the application that "it does not appear possible at this time for Dagong to comply with the record keeping, production and examination requirements of the federal securities laws."

Indeed, even the New York Times’ now-thrice-weekly story about rising Sino-American tensions observes:

In the rest of the world, the United States is still the strongest of credit risks, and the Chinese downgrade is not expected to have much real impact….

[T]hose critics, mostly countries that fear that recent American policy will devalue the dollar and undercut their competitiveness, do not appear poised to offer an alternative to an economic order that has been led by the United States since the end of World War II, or to the role the dollar has played for decades as the de facto world gold standard.

The Chinese, who have protested that the Federal Reserve is trying to unilaterally manipulate the dollar for the purpose of creating jobs at home, have been accused of doing exactly that for years – the root of many of the world’s economic tensions today, in the eyes of Mr. Obama and his economic aides.

Look, clearly China is suffering from… an insult gap. Americans have been leading the world in trash-talking for decades now. China is trying hard to catch up, but I think the authorities in Beijing need some assistance in their game of catch-up.

I hereby call on all readers to offer, in the comments, ways that Chinese authorities can really sharpen their rhetorical jabs at the United States. In the spirit of kicking off the conversation, here are a few suggestions:

"Chinese Halitosis Institute Downgrades American Fresh Breath Index to BB: ‘Seriously, What’s The Deal With All The BBQ,’ Asks Agency Head"

"Chinese Election Monitors Accuse Obama Administration of Rampant Ballot Fraud During Midterm Elections: ‘It’s No Myanmar, I’ll Say That’ According to Chief Monitor"

"Chinese Dietary Institute says American Food Leaves Them Hungry After Only 12 Hours"

Go to it.