Top 10 ways to tell your new Taliban friend is an impostor

You’ve probably heard by now that NATO got totally punk’d by an unknown man posing as a high-ranking Taliban leader. How embarrassing. If only they’d looked out for these 10 ways of telling the true Talib from the con man, we wouldn’t be in this mess:

10. Keeps asking if the peace talks can be held in the Maldives

9. Eyepatch switches sides from meeting to meeting

8. Introduces himself as "Colonel Iqbal from the ISI"

7. Runs up a large minibar tab at the Four Seasons Kabul

6. Wife angling for a spot on "The Real Housewives of Kandahar"

5. Claims to be texting Mullah Omar but is actually just playing Angry Birds the whole time

4. Offers to settle Afghan War with a game of Jenga

3. Turban made of an actual towel

2. Wears trench coat, offers to sell the letters O and U

1. Agrees to trade Osama bin Laden for Justin Bieber