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Things Vladimir Putin is not too busy for

Russian Prime Minister and presidential candidate Vladimir Putin will not be debating his opponents this election season. He’s just too busy: Taking time off for debates would "undoubtedly impede his ability to duly carry out his duties", [spokesman] Dmitriy Peskov told Russian media. Admittedly, Putin is a very busy guy. Russian citizens might be happy ...

DMITRY ASTAKHOV/AFP/Getty Images
DMITRY ASTAKHOV/AFP/Getty Images

Russian Prime Minister and presidential candidate Vladimir Putin will not be debating his opponents this election season. He’s just too busy:

Taking time off for debates would "undoubtedly impede his ability to duly carry out his duties", [spokesman] Dmitriy Peskov told Russian media.

Admittedly, Putin is a very busy guy. Russian citizens might be happy to know that he’s not taking time away from his duties to argue about the future of Russia with a playboy billionaire, a communist fossil, and a delusional racist. If he did, he might not have time for such crucial activities as:

Scuba-diving for greek urns

Driving a combine harvester in a wheat field

Driving a Harley at a biker rally on the Black Sea

Presiding over MMA fights (and getting booed)

Petting snow leopards

Holding high-level snow leopard summits with Leonardo DiCaprio

Shooting whales with crossbows

Shooting other animals

Bike riding and playing badminton with Medvedev (A tandem bike ride is promised!)

Curling

Practicing with Russian hockey legends

Showing off his judo moves

Singing jazz standards for Kevin Costner and Goldie Hawn

Where does the time go?

Russian Prime Minister and presidential candidate Vladimir Putin will not be debating his opponents this election season. He’s just too busy:

Taking time off for debates would "undoubtedly impede his ability to duly carry out his duties", [spokesman] Dmitriy Peskov told Russian media.

Admittedly, Putin is a very busy guy. Russian citizens might be happy to know that he’s not taking time away from his duties to argue about the future of Russia with a playboy billionaire, a communist fossil, and a delusional racist. If he did, he might not have time for such crucial activities as:

Scuba-diving for greek urns

Driving a combine harvester in a wheat field

Driving a Harley at a biker rally on the Black Sea

Presiding over MMA fights (and getting booed)

Petting snow leopards

Holding high-level snow leopard summits with Leonardo DiCaprio

Shooting whales with crossbows

Shooting other animals

Bike riding and playing badminton with Medvedev (A tandem bike ride is promised!)

Curling

Practicing with Russian hockey legends

Showing off his judo moves

Singing jazz standards for Kevin Costner and Goldie Hawn

Where does the time go?

Joshua Keating was an associate editor at Foreign Policy  Twitter: @joshuakeating

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