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A lyrical plea to Chancellor Merkel

Now that summer is upon us, the global economic problems are no less serious, but perhaps our blogging can be. This is summertime, when one just wants to roll down the car windows, crank up some classic songs on the iPod, and sing along. The pressure on Germany to fix Europe’s looming problems is something ...

JOHN MACDOUGALL/AFP/GettyImages
JOHN MACDOUGALL/AFP/GettyImages
JOHN MACDOUGALL/AFP/GettyImages

Now that summer is upon us, the global economic problems are no less serious, but perhaps our blogging can be. This is summertime, when one just wants to roll down the car windows, crank up some classic songs on the iPod, and sing along.

Now that summer is upon us, the global economic problems are no less serious, but perhaps our blogging can be. This is summertime, when one just wants to roll down the car windows, crank up some classic songs on the iPod, and sing along.

The pressure on Germany to fix Europe’s looming problems is something I’ve addressed before, more seriously. The ever-louder pleading for Chancellor Merkel to just do it already, though, has lately put me in mind of other sorts of importunings. So, with apologies to Billy Joel, herewith a reworking of his 1977 classic, "Only the Good Die Young" (redone as "Stopping the PIIGS Bank Run"):

Come on, Angela, don’t make me wait/ You Protestant countries start much too late/ Ah but sooner or later it comes down to fate/ You know what must be done/ When they sold you the euro and took the Deutsche Mark away/ They promised restraint and said we’d converge some day/ Ah but they never told you the price that you’d pay/ Now that Bankia’s come undone

Stopping the PIIGS bank run/ That’s what I said/ Stopping the PIIGS bank run

 You might have heard we run with a dangerous crowd/ Private investors just can’t be found/ Our national budgets often tend to run aground/ Ah but that never hurt no one

 So come on Angela show me a sign/ Send up a signal I’ll throw you a line/ Those old time treaties you’re hiding behind/ Just won’t get it done

Darlin stopping the PIIGS bank run/ I tell you stopping the PIIGS bank run/ Stopping the PIIGS bank run

You get a fiscal treaty/ And more input as a consolation/ You’ll set a brand new goal/ And no risk of an export hole/ But Angela they didn’t give you/ Quite enough information/ You didn’t count on Greece/ When you were counting on low debt/GDP

And they say there’s political union for those who will wait/ Some say it’s better though there may be a taint/ But wouldn’t you rather laugh with the sinners/ Than cry with the saints?/ The sinners are much more fun

 You know you’ve got to stop the PIIGS bank run/ I tell you stopping the PIIGS bank run now/ You’ve got to stop the PIIGS bank run

 You said your voters told you/ All they worried about was inflation/ They worry about subsidies/ Transfers that continue endlessly

Come on, come on, come on Angela/ Don’t make me wait/ You Protestant countries start much too late/ Sooner or later it comes down to fate/ You might as well get it done/ You’ve got to stop the PIIGS bank run/ Tell you baby/ You’ve got to stop the PIIGS bank run

Imagine this with an interwoven saxophone and you should be all set for  summer crooning on the autobahn. Of course, from a policy standpoint, Chancellor Merkel should probably have some of the same concerns about giving in that the apocryphal Virginia would have had in the Billy Joel original.

Phil Levy is the chief economist at Flexport and a former senior economist for trade on the Council of Economic Advisers in the George W. Bush administration. Twitter: @philipilevy

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