Best Defense

Thomas E. Ricks' daily take on national security.

Stand back!: Military wives speak, and the situation is even worse than I thought

The more I read, the more I am persuaded that getting the leaders of the U.S. military to recognize that marriages are different now is of utmost importance. Here is one: As a military spouse and struggling professional, I’ve found that maintaining my career has taken Herculean efforts on my part. My spouse is still ...

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The more I read, the more I am persuaded that getting the leaders of the U.S. military to recognize that marriages are different now is of utmost importance. Here is one:

As a military spouse and struggling professional, I've found that maintaining my career has taken Herculean efforts on my part. My spouse is still a CGO and I eventually had to resort to more creative measures to keep my career aspirations afloat. I truly believe there is a giant culture shift afoot in the military community and it isn't just Junior Officers...it's across the board. All military spouses, regardless of their servicemembers' grade are fighting tooth and nail to hold on to a shred of their professional identity...and many of us just give up. Unfortunately the price of giving up is astronomical and when these military spouses try to reenter the workforce 10, 15, or 20 years later, it's demoralizing and a slap in the face. Thank you for writing this piece. I am dying to hear more.

And here is another:

The more I read, the more I am persuaded that getting the leaders of the U.S. military to recognize that marriages are different now is of utmost importance. Here is one:

As a military spouse and struggling professional, I’ve found that maintaining my career has taken Herculean efforts on my part. My spouse is still a CGO and I eventually had to resort to more creative measures to keep my career aspirations afloat. I truly believe there is a giant culture shift afoot in the military community and it isn’t just Junior Officers…it’s across the board. All military spouses, regardless of their servicemembers’ grade are fighting tooth and nail to hold on to a shred of their professional identity…and many of us just give up. Unfortunately the price of giving up is astronomical and when these military spouses try to reenter the workforce 10, 15, or 20 years later, it’s demoralizing and a slap in the face. Thank you for writing this piece. I am dying to hear more.

And here is another:

I am the wife of a JO currently stationed at Camp Lejeune. I am also an attorney. I have finally found work in the booming metropolis that is Jacksonville, N.C., with the caveat that I was offered only part-time work with no expectation of partnership (as everyone knows we will pcs in a couple of years). Further, I make 1/5th the salary that I made when we were married 5 years ago (my pre-Marine Corps life), and, to put that in perspective, my former law school and law firm peers are currently law partners making 3-4 times what I was making 5 years ago. Put simply, the lost income is staggering. Only I am responsible for my choices in life, and I certainly don’t regret mine, as I love my husband and the Marine Corps very much. But I never imagined it would be so difficult to find work. I have applied for countless gov’t positions — anything to get my proverbial foot in the door, mostly contract procurement jobs for which a college degree is not required — and have never gotten so much as an interview. Thank you again for posting on this topic. It is a frustrating life, for sure.

And from a thoughtful male, after reading some of the comments from men:

I think some of the critics on this thread are hammering on the wrong nail. They think they are hearing serving officers say, “I wish I was posted in or near a big city.” What they are actually hearing serving officers say is, “I married an educated woman with some gumption. There’s not a lot for her to do with her education and gumption in F-ville. If the Army doesn’t think more about this, then I have two choices: (1) lose the career or (2) lose my spouse.” I don’t think this is whining. I don’t think this is a case of guys saying I’m a wimp and can’t make it in Fort Hole in the Woods. This is the voice of reason looking for some reasonable answers.

Thomas E. Ricks covered the U.S. military from 1991 to 2008 for the Wall Street Journal and then the Washington Post. He can be reached at ricksblogcomment@gmail.com. Twitter: @tomricks1

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