11 Greek Puns and Portmanteaus of Tomorrow, Today!

First there was the “grexit” — the irritatingly ubiquitous portmanteau to describe the possibility that Greece would abandon the euro because of its economic woes. And with tension between Greece and its creditors boiling over on Friday, it’s been banner week for bad Greece puns, with the coining in recent days of such gems as  “grimbo,” “gredge,” and “grexhaustion.”

So as Greece slouches toward bankruptcy, the portmanteaus appear likely to continue their proliferation, and here we present to you a menagerie of buzzwords to describe a crisis that shows no sign of resolution.

Hide and go Greek: noun. A game where Greek political leaders tell creditors they’ll pay them, then hide when they show up at their door.

“Hey where did Alexis Tsipras go?” “Oh, he’s playing hide and go Greek because the creditors just showed up.” “Cool, tell him to call me when he’s back.”

Gremageddon: noun. The last battle between Good and Evil before Greece exits the eurozone.

“It feels like Gremageddon has been imminent since 2009. But somehow, we’re still using the euro.”

Grexodus: noun. A mass movement of Greeks out of Greece and into countries that don’t have a debt load equivalent to 175 percent of GDP. Sometimes referred to as a grevacuation. Also a Bob Marley song.

“I just can’t get that Bob Marley song out of my head. You know, the one that goes: ‘2, 3, 4: Grexodus: movement of Jah people! Oh, yeah!… Open your eyes and look within: Are [Greek people] satisfied with the life [they’re] living [in the Eurozone]?'”

Grepidemic: noun. Widespread illness currently going around the inner circles of Greek government and banks. Symptoms include losing ability to pay debt on time. There is no known cure.

“It’s so sad to hear about the never-ending grepidemic in Greece. Sounds like the entire government has been sick for years, and there’s no grend in sight.”

Grentrenched: adjective. Descriptive term for what happens when a government gets stuck in debt, can’t get out, and tries to extend their deadlines every time they get close to having to pay.

“No one trusts those Greek creditors anymore because their inability to live up to promises is just so deeply grentrenched.”

Grepicenter: noun. The central, most unpleasant point of the Greek debt crisis.

“Hey what’s your hell on earth?”
“Oh, easy. The grepicenter. Probably the worst place to find yourself stuck, because you’ll just get grentrenched and never find your way out.”
“Oh, word.”

Grecian Burn: insult. To blame another for one’s own financial woes.

“Damn, if it weren’t for all that money I spent on you this month then I’d be so much richer!”
“Don’t Grecian Burn me bro, I’m actively looking for work!”

Resident Grevil: video game. Action, adventure, and horror video game based on the Greek debt crisis in which Finance Minister Yanis Varoufakis slays zombie Brussel bureaucrats while clad in a leather trenchcoat.

Total Greclipse of the Central Bank: expression.

The Grelephant in the Room: expression.

Grepocalypse Now: movie title. Right after the Great Greek Debt Crisis of 2015, an American army captain is sent on a wild adventure to Mount Athos, where he finds a renegade finance minister who has installed himself as a god among the locals.

“Hey, I just saw Grepocalypse Now. It’s an instant classic.”
“Man, that Francis Ford Coppola just does such great work.”

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