Best Defense

Thomas E. Ricks' daily take on national security.

The diaries of Trump’s handler (4): Ok, as instructed I put microphone in cat

As instructed, put microphone in tuna filet (not inexpensive!), fed to my cat Behemoth, and watched it swallow said device.

4218923753_be962d0014_o

 

Dear Diary,

As instructed, put microphone in tuna filet (not inexpensive!), fed to my cat Behemoth, and watched it swallow said device. For testing, I let it roam around my own Foggy Bottom neighborhood. But for some reason, Moscow’s device picked up not human voices but cat’s own thoughts!

 

Dear Diary,

As instructed, put microphone in tuna filet (not inexpensive!), fed to my cat Behemoth, and watched it swallow said device. For testing, I let it roam around my own Foggy Bottom neighborhood. But for some reason, Moscow’s device picked up not human voices but cat’s own thoughts!

Transcript of Behemoth, 1 May, 2017 at 13:15 hours: “Humans. Towering piles of bullshit. Think they’re so smart. Can’t even talk same language. Blah blah blah … Skinny Russian guy, all he does in complain about Trump. Sounds like Democrat.… When’s lunch? More tuna?”

I have been ideologically denounced by cat! What additional burden might Fate place upon these shoulders? I fear that cat will get me transferred to Pyongyang Station. Where she will be eaten, I am proposing.

Photo credit: Flickr

Thomas E. Ricks covered the U.S. military from 1991 to 2008 for the Wall Street Journal and then the Washington Post. He can be reached at ricksblogcomment@gmail.com. Twitter: @tomricks1

More from Foreign Policy

Volker Perthes, U.N. special representative for Sudan, addresses the media in Khartoum, Sudan, on Jan. 10.

Sudan’s Future Hangs in the Balance

Demonstrators find themselves at odds with key U.N. and U.S. mediators.

In an aerial view, traffic creeps along Virginia Highway 1 after being diverted away from Interstate 95 after it was closed due to a winter storm.

Traffic Jams Are a Very American Disaster

The I-95 backup shows how easily highways can become traps.

Relatives and neighbors gather around a burned vehicle targeted and hit by an American drone strike in Kabul.

The Human Rights vs. National Security Dilemma Is a Fallacy

Advocacy organizations can’t protect human rights without challenging U.S. military support for tyrants and the corrupt influence of the defense industry and foreign governments.

un-sanctions-inspectors-china-foreign-policy-illustration

The Problem With Sanctions

From the White House to Turtle Bay, sanctions have never been more popular. But why are they so hard to make work?