Best Defense
The diaries of Trump’s handler (4): Ok, as instructed I put microphone in cat
As instructed, put microphone in tuna filet (not inexpensive!), fed to my cat Behemoth, and watched it swallow said device.
Dear Diary,
As instructed, put microphone in tuna filet (not inexpensive!), fed to my cat Behemoth, and watched it swallow said device. For testing, I let it roam around my own Foggy Bottom neighborhood. But for some reason, Moscow’s device picked up not human voices but cat’s own thoughts!
Transcript of Behemoth, 1 May, 2017 at 13:15 hours: “Humans. Towering piles of bullshit. Think they’re so smart. Can’t even talk same language. Blah blah blah … Skinny Russian guy, all he does in complain about Trump. Sounds like Democrat.… When’s lunch? More tuna?”
I have been ideologically denounced by cat! What additional burden might Fate place upon these shoulders? I fear that cat will get me transferred to Pyongyang Station. Where she will be eaten, I am proposing.
Photo credit: Flickr
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